Cell Phone Kills

by JR Hager II “Oh, whats bad for me now,” I mumbled to myself, mouse clicking for my morning paper.
And it never fails, I can always expect this news. The latest of what I can fear for the day. I can count on it. There was a time when I had to wait till the weekend for it, but now it’s damn near daily. There’s always something lurking around the corner that’s going to get-cha. For a time I hoped the news people would reach a happy medium, no chance. Well, at least they don't have an obituary on my online news!
“If it bleeds it leads,” a reporter friend of mine had told me. “I’ve always thought that sex sells,” I told her.

But these days I don’t think so. She was absolutely right. Right on the money. Sickness and the fear of getting ‘it’ has taken the lead. Either it’s an edible I’ve enjoyed eating over the past fifty years or something electrical that has become a prized possession of mine that I can’t fathom life without, all has become fare-game for these ‘gloom mongers.’ Sickness sells. And one only has to look at the companies that aren’t laying-off any workers, to prove this point. It reminds me of the movie Network. I fear the ‘Death Hour’ is upon us.
(There's a used section for this movie, as always with Amazon. I only paid around eight dollars for mine.)

Now, I heard my cell phone may be dangerous. What is that? ‘May’ be dangerous.’ I’m there like, either it causes freaken tumors in your head or it doesn’t. We’re talking about one of my prize possessions here. But I’ll tell ya; there’s no more a prize possession on this earth that compares to my head. So lay it on me, ‘gloomers’ it is my head, my life. Tell me the truth for a change, and without any sprinkles on it. Kindly leave the little touch of make-up, the little touch of bull - out of it. I’m up to my back teeth in all this sensationalism anyway, don’t know what to believe anymore. Or, I wonder, is this like when me Mum told me not to get too close to the TV? Wow, if she was right I would have to watch my 46 incher today from out in the backyard beside Bently’s dog house.

Funny, after I heard the news about my cell, as fate would have it, King’s new novel winked at me at the grocery store. The book ‘Cell’ was suddenly more important than getting out of the baby infested line. I began reading it instead of gawking at the covers of tabloids displayed for the taking. Luckily his fiction took my evil thoughts away from the surrounding crybabies faster than the news that Angelina Jolie had just bought another one. I was seriously considering getting out of line, going to hardware and bring back a nice fresh roll of Duct Tape. Thank you Steven. But then where did I get such thoughts?
And wouldn’t you know it, ‘the king’ had a profound effect on me. Granted, it is fiction and would never happen, but the worse case senereo struck a nerve. I thought, how bad does it have to be before I take this blasted thing from my head. Or atleast cut back and use it only on emergencies and when I do use it, use an earpiece. So that’s what I’ve done. And you know, hey, the waterie noise in my ear, like I just got out of the pool, has subsided and stopped. Sure as heck made a believer out of me. And I didn’t wait till I began to rip people heads off! Or hanging out with the ‘flock,’ as in the book.

Big tumor risk for cell users

Are you near a window? Open it up, make sure no one is below... and toss your cell phone out.

There... now it's finally a safe distance from your body. Otherwise, you may as well dial "M" for "Murder," because your cell phone is killing you.

These dangerous devices are AGAIN being linked to brain tumors, according to a 10-year investigation by the World Health Organization. Six of the eight studies examined by the WHO found a link to tumors among regular cell phone users, with one finding that they boost the risk by 39 percent.

I know the research has been inconsistent over the years – but pay attention, because a multi-billion-dollar industry is trying to cloud the issue with a series of low-quality studies.

One recent analysis of multiple studies initially found no risk. But once the researchers focused on eight studies that met high research standards, they found that cell phone users have an increased tumor risk of between 10 percent and 30 percent over those who never or rarely used them.

Other studies have linked cell phones to everything from these tumors to reproductive problems to heart irregularities to hearing loss.

You can't ignore the facts any longer: Ditch your cell phones for good – and for goodness sake, keep these deadly gadgets away from your kids.

Cell-phone free forever,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D. 

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